Friday, April 27, 2012

I'm About To Sleep

Yeah as the title suggests, I'm about to go to sleep - it's pretty much 1 AM right now. But before I go to sleep I feel like blogging for a bit.

Last weekend, I was getting stressed out about a lot of things. First, I had an interview and I think I failed that because I got nervous during it all of a sudden. It was an interview for a position next year as an event coordinator for one of my school's  more 'official' organizations. I knew one of the guys that already works there, and he told me that my application was one of the best ones! And he told me that there were two positions and only FIVE applicants, including me, were getting interviewed. And I was surprised that I got it because for one, I applied past the deadline, and two, I don't have work study - and they're really picky about that. But when I went to my interview all dressed up like a secretary, I saw five people sitting at a table and my friend, the guy that I knew was there.... AND there was someone else there that I knew! It was so unexpected and it just threw me off... Errr these five people were interviewing just one me....

I know that that shouldn't be anything big or anything, and it wasn't. But the fact that I knew two people who were interviewing me kind of freaked me out. Why? Because they have seen my partying, stupid, and loud side of me. And now they were being all serious and seeing my serious side! Again, I know that things outside of school and work shouldn't have had any affect on my performance during my interview, but I just freaked out and got embarrassed. And during the interview I answered some things... awkwardly. I only the remember the bad things, oh my god... Well, I do remember seeing some impressed faces during the interview...

*SIGH* Before, I was so sure that I could get the job for the school year - and I was depending on it so that I could make money for my future spring break trip and who knows? Maybe I can go to California again next summer! But where did my confident, smart, and polite me go during that damn interview?!

Lesson learned: Don't party and go crazy too much in front of people that you aren't super close with. It can bite you in the ass when you least expect it.

What else... Ah. I'm having serious namja problems. I don't know if I can blog about it yet since I feel like this episode of the whole damn situation just isn't over yet. When it is, I'll definitely blog about it because it's a pretty memorable piece of my life.

I want to say that I hate namjas right now, but it's more like I just CANNOT trust them. Right now, I feel like that they all have secret motives or something. I know that everyone, not just one gender, has their motives. But like I said before, I'm having namja problems and I've been stressing, so my mind is totally biased. Or is it totally biased? Either way, I know that I can't trust the male species. What happened to the happier, don't-care-if-you're-a-guy-as-long-as-you're-nice-to-me, doubtless Steph?

With all this said and school work slowly piling up as finals come closer and closer, I am just getting sad about everything. My close friend saved me by coming in my room while I was in bed just staring at the ceiling and told me that we needed to go out. We were both stressed out, she having different reasons than mine. And we ended up eating at a restaurant, watching the Hunger Games movie for one night and the day after we stayed in Barnes and Noble for 6 hours, just talking.

And that was exactly what we needed. Just a friend to spew out our inner feelings and get comfort. We also did something that I thought was kinda cute, yet inspiring?

It was my friend's idea, that we list the things that we know that we are good at and the things that we would like to get good at. Then we listed all of the possible careers that we've ever thought of wanting. Then looking at the things that we are good at and the things we would like to get good at, we started to cross of the careers that didn't match us. We talked about it too since sometimes you need an outsider's perspective to see who you are. And the funny thing was, our results were very different. We had different strengths and weaknesses and totally different careers that we were interested in. In the end, my career options were public relations, advertising, and dun dun dun... plastic surgery! Her's were things like a counselor, something government related, and a lawyer. After that, we started to write little goals for ourselves to become good at the things we want to get good at, and to get closer to our dream jobs.

As silly as this sounds, it made me really happy inside. I felt a lot more confident about working hard to get closer and closer to the person that I am. And my friend and I felt that there was no reason to become upset because of people that have seen my partying side, bitches, and namjas. We both agreed that these people that give us a hard time is just a passing phase. And that the time for good things to happen will come sooner than we think.

Now. It's been a week and that time finally came to the both of us! Good things happened to my friend. As for me, I've been doing really well in my classes and my dad is telling me that if I keep it up, I'll get a really nice car as soon as I finish up my sophomore year of college. And my namja problems are slowly going away as my guy friends here and the interesting guy friend that I met during my LA trip are making my distrust go away. And that damn job interview? I don't give a damn anymore! If I don't get the job, that just means more time for me to go out and it gives me a reason to get money from my parents if I'm ever broke.

And other good news, I've decided to go to New York  next weekend to see my cousin! I miss him and I just want to have a one on one talk because you just need those once in a while. Not to mention, I also want to go shopping heh heh heh ;)

Me and my friend! 
This picture is to remind us that we have everything to shape our lives the way we want to.
 We just need to work hard at it :)

Remember that! And nothing can stop you ㅋㅋㅋ

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